Tag Archives: Education

My student loan gave me Stockholm Syndrome

I have $107 left on what was once a $19,000 student loan. I’d planned to pay it off today, but for some reason…I…am…stalling…

What’s going on here? I figure one of two possibilities is at play.

1) I have Stockholm Syndrome.¬†Perhaps after 13 years of being held hostage by my student loan, I identify more with its hold over me than I do with the freedom I’d have without it. I can honestly say that I NEVER thought I’d pay this bad boy off. I thought we’d be together forever. If I even tried to imagine this very day (TODAY!) when I finally paid the last cent back, I’d force the thought far from my mind. I sincerely believed it wasn’t possible, so why even bother fantasizing about it, right? Because I existed so long in this sorry state (I mean, c’mon 13 YEARS!!!), it’s possible I’m in complete denial that this day has finally and truly come. Or…

2) I’m savouring the moment.¬†Here it is. This Moment. This amazing, glorious moment when I finally no longer owe anyone or anything for my education. It’s my education now. I own it outright. This shinning, bright, sunny-day moment when I have the degrees without the debt is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. This light, airy moment is my own financial TSN Turning Point; it’s the moment when I can stop looking back at the financial mistakes I’ve made and start looking towards the future at my financial progress and prosperity. This moment might be one of the best in my adult life.

And I want it to last just a little bit longer.

~HS

sunrisePhoto: Heather Setka

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