All day people have been asking me the typical Monday small-talk question: What did you do this weekend?
And all day I’ve had the same mortifying answer: I shopped!
Yes, it’s true. I shopped. All weekend. I don’t know why or how this happened. It started out with my obsessive desire for a pair of apple green shoes. I want to wear them with my purple dress for my little sister’s wedding in December. I went to every store (or at least every store that looked like it might sell shoes) in three malls. Yes, three malls. I went to at least six different thrift stores. I was driven by a desperate longing for the elusive green shoes.*
Of course, I can’t blame the shoes entirely.
My obsession for then shoes soon morphed to a mild (hopefully short-lived) addiction to shopping. Maybe it was the attractive lighting or the perfectly temperate atmosphere, but I didn’t want to leave the mall. I felt weird when I stepped out into the cruel world. Exposed. And I couldn’t wait to get back into another mall.
I’d love to tell you that I felt horrible this morning. Hungover and worn-out. But I didn’t. I actually felt fun and free. I’ve been restricting my spending so much since I started this blog, that spending money this weekend made me feel like I was a bad girl, breaking rules. (Although I didn’t break the rule of spending money I don’t have. It’s all paid-for.)
I experienced some guilt for spending money on things I don’t really need (ie/ a white long sleeve shirt and a pair of beige/brown stiletto booties), but I shoved it away with the knowledge that I’ve earned the money I spent and I don’t need it anywhere else right now.
One word of caution, however: the duration of the excitement became shorter, and shorter with each new purchase. I felt a bit like a junkie, chasing that first purchasing high. It’s easy to see how quickly a full-throttle addiction could develop. That’s not how I want to live every weekend.
The mall is a thrilling place to visit once and awhile. But I wouldn’t want to live there.
*I eventually found them – at a wedding shoe shop that is sending white shoes away away to be dyed green. I really hope they look half-decent or else it’s a $160 experiment in dyeable shoes.