How to love paying your bills

I love paying my bills. Yup. I love it. A surge of joy ripples through me whenever I sit down to click my way through paying my heating, electric, and phone bills. The big ones, like my mortgage and my car payment, are paid without the click, of course. But I love paying those too. I love that on the first of the month, somewhere in the wee hours of the morning, teeny tiny magical bank elves haul bags of my money to the benevolent overlord at my mortgage company.

People are aghast when I say this out loud. “Why do you love paying bills?” they demand. “I hate it.”

So why do I?

I love paying my bills, because I can.

Because no matter how bad things have been – and they’ve been so bad that I’ve dug through drawers and the bottom of backpacks to scrounge up dimes so I could buy fruit for my daughter while I waited for the next payday – I’ve always been able to pay my primary bills. Somehow, as if by magic.

In fact, these times – when money is scarce and I am scared – are the times I love paying my bills the most. I feel deep satisfaction from putting a roof over my daughter’s head, making sure she is warm and the lights are on and the water is coming from the tap. It’s the kind of satisfaction I will not get from a pair of shoes or a night out on the town.

Because, believe me, I’ve spent my money on some pretty stupid shit.

I once bought a pair of Rock and Republic jeans for $3oo. I felt like a rock star in those jeans. When I packed my butt into them, it was like putting on a Victoria Secret bra built for bottoms. The lift and squeeze gave me so much confidence that I wore them everywhere. And then, after I’d only owned them for three measly months, the fabric that had been cradling all my butt’s glory split open (possible stress fracture?). I wasn’t even doing anything strenuous. I reached across the couch for a book and riiiiiipppp. The seat of these jeans shredded on my body. My mom, who fixes all my clothes, took one look at them and said, “Those are done. You’ll never wear them again.”

Can we all agree that $300 would’ve been much better spent on food, shelter and warmth?

If you need help enjoying your monthly bill payments, try this the next time you sit down to do it: Remember, some people can’t. You know, like people without jobs, or seniors on fixed incomes. To keep myself in check, I  dedicate my bill paying to all the single mothers in Chad or the Congo, which are on the list of the worst places to be a mother.

Bet no one complains about paying bills there.

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